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10月31日 Balloons, books, & babystuffWell, it's been 20 days since my last entry! Wow - how that time thing does fly! (I used to hate it when my parents said that!) I posted pictures of our hot air balloon, but I thought I should put some info down about it. I kept hearing a strange intermittent noise one morning and when I went outside the front door to check it out, I caught a glimpse of the basket of a hot air balloon RIGHT over the top of our house!! I thought it was just passing over, so I yelled for the kids to come outside. I was trying to get them to hurry and yelling so excitedly that Steph started crying thinking there was some tragedy transpiring! When we finally got out the front door, there was the hot air balloon just landing across the street from us! All the neighbors had to come out to see, so it was a little block party (the first in the two years we've been here!) out there by the balloon. They were switching out passengers, so after a few minutes, they took off again and drifted up, up, up into the blue sky right over our heads. It was a gorgeous fall day - clear and 70 degrees. We hadn't had our first frost yet, so all the colors were in full splendor. If I ever go hot air ballooning, I will go in the fall. It must have been quite a spectacular trip! The balloon was the WWJD balloon around here. The chase car gave out cards with the picture of the ballon on the front and the gospel message on the back. They said WWJD meant "Walk With Jesus Daily." Another side of the balloon says WDJD for "What Did Jesus Do?" Referring to salvation, I presume. Anyway, it was a fun experience for us all.
I've had my nose buried in a book almost constantly recently (one of the benefits of nursing - plenty of sit-down time!). Reminds me of wendy's comments when we were little, "Kerrie, you're too stuck in a book to even READ!" She's always been funny about her sayings!
to be continued... 10月9日 Kid QuipOk, so two blog entries in one day - what will my fans say?! Our new family memberWell, we finally have resolved our car issues. We received a check Monday from the insurance company for our smashed "burb", and we were able to go get our "new" suburban tonight. God is so good. After the insurance company paid off our loan on the old rig, we were able to get the new suburban without going back into debt. It's actually four years newer than ours and has 5,000 less miles than ours did. It also has a load capacity of 9 instead of 8 (no, we aren't pregnant!
The kids wanted to name our new rig. The old one was "The Blue Sharkburban". One of the kids seemed to think it looked like a shark. It was also known as the Chamburban. We decided this one would be the C-burban. The C is for Chamberlain, a twist on "su"burbuan, and Miles thought the color was blue like the sea, so that works too! Come see us and we'll take you for a drive!
Kerrie 10月2日 Growing Pains"I am not what I ought to be; I am not what I wish to be; I am not what I hope to be; but by the grace of God, I am not what I was." - John Newton
This will not be a light, fluffy blog about the antics of the kids, although I may add one of those soon. This is a heartfelt blog (if anything called a "blog" can be used in the same sentence as "heartfelt") about my personal walk with God. Read at the risk of finding out who I really am!
From a journal entry October 1st:
God is faithful. He will see us through - no matter waht it is. "But Jesus said to them. 'They do not need to go away; you give them something to eat!' And they said to Him, 'We have here only five loaves and two fish.' And He said, 'Bring them here to me.' And ordering the multitudes to recline on the grass, He took the five loaves and the two fish and looking up toward heaven, He blessed the food, and breaking the loaves He gave them to His disciples, and the disciples gave to the multitudes, and they all ate, and were satisfied. And they picked up what was left over of the broken pieces: twelve full baskets. And there were about five thousand men who ate, aside from women and children." Matthew 14:16-21
As I write this, I am once again incredulous. Did He really feed 10-12,000 people (depending on the number of women and children) with five loaves and two fish? I could barely feed my family of seven with that! Let me read it again. Yes, that is what it says. Now the question becomes, "Do I believe it?"
"The cause of our discontent: We simply do not believe God. The wilderness experience leads to the Promised Land. It is the path God chose for us. His Word is established forever, and He tells us in a thousand ways that His will is our peace... Do we suppose that we could find a better way than His?" - Elisabeth Elliot
So all my frustration and helplessness last week stemmed from my distrust. Yes, I lack self-motivation and discipline and good organizational habits, but that wasn't the heart issue. The problem was that I wanted an instant solution to my problems. I didn't want to have to work on them or have God work them out in time. I knew if He didn't fix me immediatedly, my children would have to grow up in the presence of all my faults. "How would that bring them to Christ?" I would ask. I insisted it wasn't about me, but deep down, I know I wanted it to be my influence that led them to the Lord, not someone else's (the some one else who they had to go to to learn how to deal with all the issues caused by their undisciplined mother!). I also was scared He'd pick (in the sovereignty of His plan) one of my children to be a prodigal or, worse, a permanently rebellious son. I believed it was all in my hands. If I messed up, they'd be messed up. Although I do believe still that the way they are trained will have a great influence on who my children become, I realized I had to give each of my children into His plan and His purpose. I don't know if I've completely done it, but at least I have faced the solution.
God has brought so many things to me in the last week to show me the error of my ways - including a sister who is not afraid to speak truth to me and a new friend. Here are some things that have helped me from Elisabeth Elliot:
"Instead of seeing His everlasting love, tenderly bending down to our humanness, longing over each one of us with a father's speechless longing; we sometimes think of Him as indifferent, inaccessible, or just plain unfair. (
"God's not having taken away a perfectly normal human desire does not by any means indicate we are free to pursue its fulfillment in any way we choose. A woman who had, after years of struggles, quickly lost sixty pounds told me that she had been expecting God to take away her appetite. When she realized He did not intend to do so..., she stopped gratifying that appetite in the wrong ways."
"He knows better than any of us do what furthers our salvation. Our true happiness is to be realized precisely through His refusals, which are always mercies. His choice is flawlwssly contrived to give the deepest kind of joy as soon as it is embraced. Joseph Eliot, in the seventeenth century, said, 'I need everything God gives me, and want nothing He denies me.'" - E.E.
Of course, facing my wrong attitude doesn't change my lack of discipline. I look at my children and fear they will be poorly educated, lacking in character, impatient and undisciplined like their mother. But if this is all a work in progress, then I must offer up my imperfect life as the loaves and fish, and trust God to work a miracle by saving the souls of each of my (HIS!) children.
"All our fears represent in some form, I believe, the fear of death, common to all of us. But is it our business to pry into what may happen tomorrow? It is a difficult and painful exercise which saps the strength and uses up the time given to us today. Once we give ourseles [or our children] up to God, shall we attempt to get hold of what can never belong to us - tomorrow? Our lives are His, our time in His hand, He is Lord over what will happen, never mind what may happen. When we prayed, 'Thy will be done,' did we suppose He didn't hear us? He heard indeed and daily makes our business His and partakes of our lives. If my life is once surrendered, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in His hand but would be safer in mine! (
And so, to close, I will leave you with my quote for the day, or week, or probably year, from my new friend Jennifer who I have decided is an angel in disguise. You know, the kind of person that if I went up to the Kitsap peninsula to try to find, I would discover no trace of her.
Better run, I see some clothes that need putting away,
A slightly wiser,
K.B. |
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